


the deeper the love, the deeper the hate

by a_star_lost_in_space



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Biphobia, Canon Compliant, Crack, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Homophobia, I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY DELETING TAGS I HATE THIS PLACE, M/M, Minor Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Semi Eita-centric, half crack half serious, i made semi kind of an asshole at the beginning sorry, minor characters that i mention: yahaba oikawa kuroo n bokuto atsumu, no beta we die like daichi, or is it DUN DUN DUNNNN, semi Suffers, semi has a potty mouth smh someone teach him manners, semi's also kind of dumb lmAO
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26045458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_star_lost_in_space/pseuds/a_star_lost_in_space
Summary: First year Eita steps forward, full of misled confidence, convinced he can lead Shiratorizawa to victory. After all, he's famous for being a great setter, and he would only command the best. Control and command was everything in volleyball. Control the ball, control the game, command your teammates. Why else would he come to the incredible Shiratorizawa? To make friends? Fall in love?Don't be stupid.---aka semi learns a lesson, the third years play monopoly (yamagata cheats), semi is invited to a pining / suffering gc and tendou tries to be a good friend. cameos from: oikawa, yahaba, atsumu and more!!
Relationships: Semi Eita & Tendou Satori, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	the deeper the love, the deeper the hate

**Author's Note:**

> i just. really like the idea / headcanon that semi was egotistical and an asshole. it's already known that he's competitive and was a famous setter in middle school,,, so i took that further and BAM BAM and then that spiralled out of control. here was my thought process:
> 
> me: haha just a little story, 250 words no sweat.  
> *almost 6k words later*  
> me: oh no
> 
> ik it seems like i hate some characters but i'm literally in love with all of shiratorizawa so there's that
> 
> i type 'first-year' a lot and for that i'm sorry lmao
> 
> this is a,,, very experimental writing style,,, so keep that in mind as you read,,, i rarely write in present tense,,, so there might be inconsistencies i'm sorry
> 
> haha truth or dare,,, f un ti me s, ,, ,
> 
> happy reading?

First year Eita steps forward, full of misled confidence, convinced he can lead Shiratorizawa to victory. After all, he's famous for being a great setter, and he would only command the best. Control and command was everything in volleyball. Control the ball, control the game, command your teammates. Why else would he come to the incredible Shiratorizawa? To make friends? Fall in love? 

Don’t be stupid.

There's no tremble in his voice as he introduces himself to the second and third year players, a smirk on his face. But their eyes skip over him to land on Ushijima Wakatoshi, fawning over his power. Eita's only goal is to steal the glory from him. He pushes himself hard, to become a better setter and player, increase his stamina, anything to be seen and not just live in the shadow of someone who glows far brighter than he ever will. Halfway through the year, after the first tournament, Eita begins as the starting setter. He feels the stress from the position rooting itself into his mind, spreading the message throughout his body to  _ protect this gift with your life.  _ It only forces himself to work harder, wanting to be seen with Ushijima as the unstoppable duo.

However, he spends his days outside of volleyball, studying and classes alone. During the day, when his thoughts are too preoccupied with music and volleyball, Eita convinces himself that he’s fine, that friends are overrated.

At night, when the dorms have gone quiet and thin beams of moonlight stream through his window, he thinks about his old friends and teammates that he loved to spend time with. People that he could laugh with easily, share thoughts and little, insignificant secrets with, secrets that not even his parents knew about. Sometimes, Eita wonders why he didn’t keep contact with them, before remembering how they outcast him after a particularly cruel match of Truth or Dare.

\---

_ (“Truth.”  _

_ The teenagers Eita’s sitting with clamber into a huddle, sneaking glances at him and whispering together. _

_ “Okay. Tell us… your biggest secret. One you’ve never ever told anyone else. We’ll judge if it’s good enough or not, if not, we’ll...well, you’ll see.” Naturally, Eita panics. He’s never been put on the spot, not with people he should consider friends. Usually, the game only entailed stupid, childish things, questions like  _ _ d _ _ o you have a diary, or daring each other to do imitations (once, someone was dared to spend the entire game acting as a pony).  _

_ “Semi, Semi, come on, just tell us!! Don’t be a coward. Unless you want to take the laps instead?” _

__

_ Eita pales at the thought of suicide runs, knowing that they’ll keep him running until he collapses from exhaustion, until he can barely breathe. They’ll laugh and leave him there, shaking from exhaustion, unable to get to his feet while they walk back into the gym. The boys he’s sitting with shout, daring him to tell the truth. Their voices crowd his head, it’s too loud, he can’t focus with all this chatter. The most observant of them, Katsuki, death-glares at Eita, as if to say i’ll-know-if-you-lie-about-this-so-be-a-good-boy-and-tell-the-truth. Katsuki, a master of reading facial expressions, tone of voice and body language, will corner Eita and force the truth out if he lies. _

__

_ “I’ll take the dare instead.” Katsuki shakes his head, cracking his knuckles. There was no going back now. Eita fake-laughs along with everyone else, hiding his trembling hands in his hoodie. “That was just a joke, calm down, I’ll tell you.” They’re his friends, right? It won’t be that bad…he would have to tell them eventually, anyway... _

_ Katsuki’s eyes widen in surprise when Eita tells them his biggest secret. The team never looks at Eita the same way again. He sees the disgust in their eyes, the way they make sure he gets changed last, never getting too close in fear that Eita will taint them with his freakishness. His ‘teammates’ don’t call for sets anymore, acting lethargic when he’s the one tossing, missing on purpose to make Eita look bad. They tell his parents too, and they gave him an hour- no, less, to pack his stuff and get out of the house.  _

_ “Pick a fucking side, will you? It’s bad enough that you like boys-” his mother shudders, practically spitting the words at him. “But girls too? Greedy piece of shit, we raised you to be better than this.” His mother slams a fist down on his shoulder, and Eita hisses in pain, digging his nails into his palms, leaving red marks behind. His mother is screaming for Eita to get out, ignoring the tears that track down his face as he tries to explain himself. Eita’s begging them to understand, needing them to know that he’s normal and not some monster. His father simply stands there, glowering, as if simply speaking to his sinful son is too much to bear.  _

_ Eita dashes to his room, locking the door behind him. The  _ bam bam bam _ of his mother pounding on the door, hollering at him, calling him slurs that cut him to the very bone and the constant thrum of rain beating down on their roof reverberate through his head. He opens all his drawers, throwing together as much as he can into a bag before climbing out his window and running. Scraping together the meagre amount of yen he finds in the bottom of his school bag, he buys a train ticket to his sister’s apartment, soaking wet and sobbing. The train passengers avert their gazes when they first see him, he’s just another nuisance, an outcast that doesn’t matter. The train doors open, and he pushes past them all, pushes away his insecurities and fears until he’s not in danger. As Eita is drawn into his sister’s arms, he feels the tension ease out of his shoulders. He is safe here. _

_ For the most part, they don’t talk about the night when Eita showed up, shaking from the emotional stress, rain drenching his clothes. They don’t need to, they share the mutual understanding that  _ we’ll never be welcome back there. 

_ Eita’s sister, Kirari, works as a lawyer and an editor for a local newspaper, her long hours snatching away any spare moments he could spend with her. At night, Kirari’s head is bent over articles, rechecking them repeatedly for any mistakes. For the most part, Kirari leaves him alone. Neither have any time on their hands. Eita still attends school; after all, he has to keep up appearances, but for some time, Eita’s scared to even leave his new room. None of his classmates interact with him, leaving Eita to sit alone. At lunch, he sits on the field and looks at the sky, trying to find shapes in the clouds. Behind his back, he knows the students are calling him names, degrading slurs. _

_ And so, trying to escape his thoughts, he’s swept more than ever into the world of volleyball and music. He teaches himself to play the guitar and keyboard, instruments left by his sister’s roommate. Kirari makes enough money to support them both, but not quite enough to send Eita to his dream school. They discuss it, sometimes, his future schooling path, but Eita is adamant about attending Shiratorizawa. They’re both sick with relief when he receives a volleyball scholarship to attend. _

_ A few times, Eita gathers the courage to call his parents. The phone rings, but isn’t answered once. Each time, Kirari stares at him with pity, sympathy reflecting in her eyes. _

_ For months afterward, when the night is cold and quiet, not a sound to be heard, Eita wonders what would’ve happened if he stayed at home.) _

\---

When Eita thinks about that first evening, he doesn’t get much sleep. His teammates glance at him with concern on the days he almost falls asleep at practise, or rubs at his eyes and yawns too many times to be normal. Coach Wahijo sternly tells Eita to take care of himself, the starting setter needs to be in top condition! 

Most of the time, though, nobody approaches Eita. The team knows nothing about him, and how could they, when he is so closed off and emotionless?

\---

With Eita as setter, Shiratorizawa goes to Nationals.

\---

During his second year, another setter introduces himself. His voice is delicate but strong, and he stares Ushijima directly in the eyes, not bending or breaking under pressure. Eita hates him immediately, going out of his way to avoid him, changing the subject when he tries to ask for help or advice, teasing him about his hair, height, about how shitty his setting is, any little thing Eita can do to make him feel insignificant. 

_ (“First-year, what’s up with the hair? Did you cut it blindfolded or something?” Eita has not bothered to learn his name. Giving him a name would humanise him.  _

_ The first-year doesn’t miss a beat, turning around to smile kindly at him, though Eita sees the cruelty in his eyes. Given the opportunity, this boy would destroy him. “Semi-san, you’re one to talk. It looks like you haven’t brushed yours in weeks.” Eita self-consciously puts a hand to his hair.) _

\---

_ (Eita watches as the first-year sets the ball in a graceful arc. “What the fuck was that? You call that setting?” _

_ “What else would you call it, Semi-san? At least I’m actually taking into consideration what the spikers need.” _

_ “What's that supposed to mean? Brat.”) _

_ \--- _

_ (“You’re too self-sacrificing and modest.” Eita says, spinning a volleyball in his hands. “Nobody’s going to notice your existence.” _

_ “I don’t need to be noticed. I only want to set for Ushijima-san.” _

_ “Do you even know what he looks like? I bet you can’t even see his face, you’re so short.” _

_ “Calling me short? I’ve been called worse things by better people.” _

_ Eita scoffs, positioning himself behind the end line, getting ready to serve. “Sorry, I didn’t understand that, I’m afraid I don’t speak bullshit.” He smiles as the first-year curls his hands into fists, trying to contain his anger.) _

\---

His attitude takes a toll on the rest of the team. Eita finds himself shouting at his teammates, laughing at their misfortune, especially when a player is hit with one of Ushijima’s thunderous spikes or trips over their own feet trying to block.

When Eita loses his temper, yelling at his teammates to listen to him (he’s the conductor on the court, giving each player a role to fulfill, they should respect him more), he feels the first-year setter's eyes on his back. If looks could kill, Eita would be dead. Dead as his future volleyball career.

Before long, Coach Washijo focuses on the even-tempered first year, giving more advice to him than Eita.

He feels a rush of jealousy. He should be the focus, he’s worked harder than anyone else to be a starter, perfect his deadly jump serves, sharpen his sets, improve communication ( _ okay, maybe not that, _ Eita begrudgingly admits to himself), but everything else he’s working on, really!

Halfway through the school year, and Eita is still Shiratorizawa’s main setter, but Shirabu is getting more time on the court than he is, like Coach Washijo is testing how Shirabu fits into the team. The bitch even played the last sets against Aoba Johsai in the finals. Eita knows that he has the title of official setter by a thread, and throughout the holidays it’s all he can think about, not even thoughts of his parents occupying his mind. His sister leaves him alone, knowing Eita will just deny everything, say he’s fine even on the verge of tears.

Eita suppresses his emotions, practicing guitar and piano every day, losing himself in the calming melodies of music.

\---

Coach Washijo beckons Eita and the first-year over, explaining to each of them that Eita is now the backup setter and pinch server.

_ If I’m not first on the court, why am I even here at all?  _ Eita thinks bitterly. He’s scowling, he feels like shit, and he’s lethargic, as if he could collapse at any minute.  _ It’s probably a stark contrast to the way Shirabu’s feeling, judging from the expression on his face. _ In that moment, Eita wants nothing more than to wipe that stupid grin off.

Washijo explains to Eita that he takes too many risks, that the gamble he was playing might’ve worked at other schools, but here at Shiratorizawa, all they need is Ushijima’s strength.

Shirabu takes control, and Eita is discarded like he is worthless. He’s supposed to be the pillar of the team, serious and stoic, a trustworthy person, not some hot-headed competitive bastard who isn’t even the first choice setter. 

\---

Eita doesn't talk much anymore, too pent up with anger, lost in his own head. He only speaks up in class or calls directions to Shirabu. Yes, Eita eventually learnt his name, he’s not a complete asshole.

Eita finds himself watching Shirabu’s movements more, the way he passive-aggressively talks to everyone except the coach and Ushijima, how his hands bend as he sets, the way they are smooth and gentle. How when Shirabu smiles, it’s full of life, and the rare times that he laughs he tries to hide it, as if it will blemish his reputation as cold and composed.

The way Shirabu studies, tongue slightly poking out, or how when he’s stressed, he’ll run his fingers through his copper-brown hair, making it endearingly messy. 

Eita wants to hold Shirabu’s hand. He tries not to think about that.

\---

At Kirari’s prompting, Eita buys a bottle of hair dye. She says to live a little, escape your own thoughts every once in a while, find a distraction. The only thing Eita really needs a distraction from is Shirabu, but he doesn’t tell her that. She doesn’t need to know how much he wants to kiss him.

“All you need is a change of scenery,” Kirari laughs. “Now go make some friends, little brother.” 

“Mmm.”

Kirari forces a smile. “Change is good. With change, you can learn from past mistakes. They’ll understand.”

Eita thinks that she’s full of shit. 

Secretly, he hopes someone interesting and full of life will talk to him about why he changed the colour. His (well, Kirari’s) plan works, and he attracts the attention of the other second-years, especially Tendou Satori. At first, he knows that they only spend time with him out of pity, but gradually he becomes closer with the second-years, especially Tendou. For a while, Eita’s happy. He learns to let go of the permanent scowl on his face, learns to ignore feelings he doesn’t want to embrace.

Like the tides, good and bad things come and go. Eita’s bracing himself for the next wave of harm to destroy the life he’s built.

\---

Shiratorizawa, Eita supposes, is like a machine, each of the parts working perfectly to destroy anything in its path. He isn't a part of that carefully built piece anymore, too much of a risk to be worth being the main setter. Eita knows he was stupid during his first two years, yes, but he loved to feel the rush when they scored a point off a risky set or dump, the screams of the crowd cheering him on louder than the scolding he received from Coach Washijo. In a strange way, he misses those times, despite the stress and fear he went through, the constant worry that kept him up at night.

Eita slams the door of his locker. The sound echoes in the almost empty clubroom. Keyword being almost. Tendou steps into place behind Eita, the redhead full of energy despite the long hours of practice.

"Semisemi, what's got you down today?" Tendou's face morphs into one of his comical expressions, his head tilting sideways. "Let me guess...is it to do with a girl?"

Eita pouts, ducking his head to hide his face. 

"Ooh, I'm right, I'm right! Round two...is it about a particularly mean, pretty second year on the girl’s volleyball team, maybe?"

Eita doesn't dignify that with a response, instead fumbling for the keys in his pocket and closing the door, shutting the gym for the night. Tomorrow morning, the gym will be filled with energy and shouts from his teammates, the constant sound of balls being dug, set and spiked over and over until it’s muscle memory.

The 'Guess Monster' is close to the truth. After years of careful observation (read: glaring) by Eita, he knows that Tendou can quickly analyse a situation. Each miniscule change in behaviour is recognised, analysed and dealt with accordingly. That's what’s annoying about Tendou, not his voice or attitude, but the fact that he always, always knows when something was wrong.

Eita’s just glad that Tendou’s guesses are  _ slightly  _ off each time. He doesn’t want a repeat of middle school.

The sun has started to set, streaks of purple, red and gold giving way for the pale, solemn light of the moon.

Tendou gasps theatrically. “Could our very own Semisemi be lovesick~?” 

_ Well, he isn’t exactly wrong. But I’ll never tell him that, it’ll only feed his ego. _

“Shut up, Satori. And I told you not to call me that.”

“But you didn't deny it, did you? Ooohhh~! Wait, no, Eita-kun I'msorrycomeback-”

\---

There’s knocking at his door, the rapid hits taking a while to register in Eita's head. Wearily, he opens the door. Tendou smiles gleefully, pushing past Eita into his dorm.

“I- Satori, for fucks sake, it’s midnight. Let me sleep. Why are you even here?” Eita rubs at his eyes, trying to make sense of the situation.

"I'm here to help you on your Journey of Love, of course!!"

Is Eita hearing things correctly? Surely not. This was all a weird fucking dream that manifested itself while Eita was thinking of Sh- Nope.

He’s going to that Dark Place™ that was in his mind, not today, no thank you.

“This isn’t one of your manga, stop trying to set me up with girls you think are cute, I don’t care. No girl-”  _ no boy, either, especially Shirabu  _ “-will visit my room, not today, not ever.” Eita tries to push him out of the dorm to no avail, Tendou simply turns around and sits on Eita’s bed.

Tendou winks, swinging his legs like a child. “Why else would you live in the dorms? You’re a hermit, Semisemi, you’re in need of looovee~!”

Eita stares at him blankly, trying to process the information. His sleep-deprived dumbass keeps talking. “Satori, I live in the dorms because my parents kicked me out. My older sister helps pay tuition because of my partial scholarship.”

“Ah. Can I ask why?”  _ No you may not,  _ Eita thinks.

“Now, if you’ll get out and let me sleep, thanks.” He feels his hair sticking up in various directions like a mad scientist, not the orderly chaos he usually styles it into.

“Nope, nope not today~! We don’t have practice tomorrow,” - _ shit, I completely forgot about that-  _ “So there’s no excuses! We’re going to discuss your love life!”  _ Wow, he dropped the topic of me living with my sister fast. _ “You’re keeping something from me. I’ll make a deal, you tell me a secret, I’ll tell you one back.” 

Eita squints at Tendou incredulously. What sparked Tendou’s sudden interest in his non-existent love life?

Tendou keeps rambling. “You’re actually very popular, you know? Girls love that bad boy, emo vibe you have. You have awful fashion sense, though. It’s nothing I can’t fix~!!”

“Wow, thanks for the reminder,” Eita deadpans. 

“No problem! I’m always here to help!”

They sit in silence for a while. Tendou flicks through the manga he stashes in Eita’s room while Eita makes the most of being awake and actually tries to study for once. He’s trying to understand algebra but he just- can’t.

Tendou pokes him in the shoulder. “I’m bored, can we talk?”

Eita shuts his math book with a sigh, turning to face the redhead. “Fine.” Tendou starts babbling about some anime that Eita’s never watched, something about civilised animals and how a wolf is trying to suppress his instincts while falling in love with a rabbit. 

_ What kind of drugs is Tendou smoking what the fuck does he watch these days what the fuck- _

“Legoshi’s like you, Semisemi! Repressing and confusing your true feelings!” 

“I’m not repressing my true feelings,” Eita snaps (he’s lying), “and don’t compare me to a wolf.”

“Ohh but you're just as feral~!! Come on, don’t you trust me? Friends tell each other secrets.”

Maybe it’s the combination of impatience, sleep-deprivation, and simply being sick of keeping so many secrets that makes Eita say it. Maybe it’s the need to get Tendou out of his room so he can sleep in for once, who knows? “Yeah, sure, I like someone, Satori! He doesn’t like me back. In fact, he hates my guts,” Eita whisper-shouts at him. “Is that what you wanted me to admit? There you go, now stop fucking bugging me about it.”

Tendou’s eyes widen. “He? Eita-kun, you’ve got a crush on a guy~?”

“Shut up, don’t call it a crush, I’m not twelve.” Eita pauses, mentally backtracks and freezes.

Eita fucks up a lot, on the daily even, but damn, he wishes he could time travel to ten seconds ago to unsay everything. “Itsnothingreallyyoushouldjustleavenowhaveanicenight.” Eita grabs Tendou by the arm, practically shoves him out and slams the door. He can survive becoming a hermit, right? He’ll have to ask Ushijima for farming tips.

Tendou immediately starts to whisper at the door. “Eita, Eita, let me in…I’m more than okay with it, I’m dating Wakatoshi, after all.”

_ …He’s wh a t? _

Eita’s brain malfunctions temporarily. Please come back later because, as of 12:22 am, the human known as Semi Eita no longer functions normally. Thank you for understanding.

“Ever since the start of second year, you didn’t notice?” Tendou snickers. That fucker. “The entire team knows.”

Eita goes into hyperdrive, thinks back to moments between that that seemed a little more than platonic. 

\---

_ (End of second year. They’re watching horror movies. Goshiki stares at the screen, transfixed as the villain lights the girl ablaze, her skin peeling off from the sheer heat of the fire. The villain laughs manically, watching her blood mix with the remaining gasoline. The camera pans to a close up of her face, revealing that her eyes have melted away. As her muscles wither and burn, and her organs explode, the entire club recoils. Eita, out of the corner of his eye, sees Tendou latch onto Ushijima’s hand, gripping it tightly until his knuckles turn white. Ushijima, surprisingly, puts an arm around him, pulling him close. Tendou sighs contentedly, tension releasing from his shoulders. _

_ The start of third year. They decide to play paintball for some ‘team bonding.’ The adrenaline runs through his veins, filling him with energy. It’s do or die. He’s going to beat them all. Ushijima is nodding sagely at whatever Tendou’s saying, their heads bent close together. Eita rounds the corner, aiming the paintball rifle at them. Before he can shoot, Tendou intertwines his hand with Ushijima’s, pulling him behind a metal barrier.  _

_ At the end of the game, Eita and Shirabu are drenched in paint, their clothes boasting a catastrophe of colours. Tendou laughs at them, not a single speck of paint staining his gear, hand still clasped with Ushijima’s. Tendou leans into Ushijima’s shoulder, giggling. _

_ Last week, after practice. Tendou clutches the fingers on his left hand, wincing in pain. Eita’s about to offer him help, but Ushijima’s already there, binding Tendou’s fingers together. Ushijima glances around before gently pressing a kiss to Tendou’s injured hand. Tendou laughs and says something Eita doesn’t hear.) _

\---

Ah. That makes sense.

Semi Eita is a very, very stupid person.  Please donate him some brain cells by dialling the number XXXXXXXXXX.

“Wait, so, who do you have a crush on? Who's the lucky guy?”

Eita shoves Tendou out of his room, slamming the door.

\---

  
  


Tendou claps his hands, walking into the clubroom. “Team meeting!” After a moment of consideration, he continues. “Third-year meeting in Wakatoshi’s room!”

“Hold on, wait for me, I can’t find my phone,” Yamagata shouts. He’s frantically rummaging through his bag, checking every nook and cranny. He holds it up triumphantly, as if he’s found the Holy Grail.

—-

Tendou walks in last, holding snacks and board games. Or, well, tries to walk in. Eita casually shuts and locks the door behind him. He hears Tendou’s shout as he drops everything he’s holding.

**shi** rat **orizawa gc- we belong in the sewers (*/ω＼*)**

**shitty-satori:** semisemi bls don’t leave me out here!! let me in!!

**semisemi:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**semisemi:** suffer

**Pure** ™ **:** _???????????????????? tendou-senpai??????_

**semisemi:** don’t question it 

**ken-the-barbie-doll:** rip

**yamabaka:** rip

**kawafishy** : rip

**ohirAAAAAAAAAAAA:** …

**ohirAAAAAAAAAAAA:** rip

**shitty-satori:** betrayed by one i thought i could trust!! 

**shitty-satori:** i’m disappointed in you

**tsamina-mina-eh-eh-waka-waka-eh-eh:** I’m letting Satori in.

Tendou practically leaps into the room. “Guess what? I brought Monopoly!!” He drops the game on the floor dramatically, making the pieces inside rattle. 

Yamagata hesitates, before darting forward to take it. His eyes shine, raking over the glossy pieces, running his hands over the houses and hotels. He expertly sorts the money, declaring himself the banker.

\---

_ (“Let’s play Monopoly!!” The team collectively groans. Yamagata is a horrible cheat: always was, always will be. And yet, he’s never been caught cheating. He’s sneaky in the way cats are, slowly prowling after you until it’s too late to escape, acting shy and vulnerable until he scratches your eyes out (metaphorically, of course. Though there was a close incident involving a kitchen, Shirabu and three maid outfits). _

_ By the end of the game, everyone but Goshiki is heavily in debt, and the team agree to give all their property to him. Goshiki thanks each of them sincerely, his eyes gleaming with hope and courage. Yamagata rolls the dice, following the movements as it tumbles across the board. A six, landing on one of Goshiki’s properties. Yamagata grumbles as he hands over 300 Monopoly dollars.  _

_ The game continues back and forth, until finally, just before Goshiki is declared the winner, Yamagata slams a hand on the board, grinning mischievously. He reveals 1000 Monopoly dollars.  _

_ Yamagata runs his fingers through his hair like a villain, striking a pose. “You may be wondering, my fellow teammates, where I got this money from. Not from the bank, not this time. Shirabu was too watchful. No, my dear friends. I, Hayato Yamagata, soon to be Monopoly master, saved this amount of money painstakingly slowly throughout the game, courtesy of our very compassionate friend Reon.”  _

_ Shirabu snaps his head around to glare at the third-year. Reon shrugs. “I felt bad,” he explains. _

_ Shirabu’s face turns red, trying to contain his anger. “Shit,” he hisses. “I can’t find any faults in his reasoning, it’s not against the rules to give money to other players. He’s simply too good for us, Semi-san.”  _

_ Eita glares at Shirabu, trying not to look directly at his face, because, well, Shirabu looks really cute when he’s all pent up with anger. It’s one of the many reasons that Eita likes to verbally clash / argue / flirt-fight with him. “Don’t drag me into this, brat.” _

_ “But of course,” Ushijima begins earnestly. Bless his innocent soul. “Hayato deserved the victory, he has an excellent memory, to know the exact amount needed to win. He’s a valuable member of our team.” _

That doesn’t make any sense,  _ Eita thinks as the room turns to mayhem. Shirabu and Goshiki are screaming at each other. Tendou, like the demon he is, is nowhere to be found.  _ If Yamagata has such a good memory, then why can he never find his fucking phone?)

\---

**pining gc- we’re all jared 19 when it comes to crushes (insert shirabu screaming here)**

**toeru:** iwa-chan smiled today and i ascended into the heavens 

**atsumoo** : ugh mood mood mood 

**atsumoo** : kita looked at me and i almost had a heart attack

**Kindaichi:** Kunimi put his head on my shoulder and I started crying

**pining after a third year who hates my guts:** he actually talked to me nicely

**toeru:** ur making progress!!

**my names yuuji but you can call me tonight:** haha y’all whipped

**_tendowo added semisemi to the group._ **

**tendowo:** have fun!!

**semisemi:** no ❤️

**_tendowo left the group_ **

**owl daddy:** OWO what’s this? A new member?

**semisemi** : …………….i hate this place already

**semisemi left the group.**

**my names yuuji but you can call me tonight:** HGJKJSFKGKHF HE REALLY SAID AIGHT IMMA HEAD OUT

**_nyah added semisemi to the group_ **

**toeru:** new member!!

**nyah:** stop! you have violated the law

**owl daddy:** Stop! you have violated the law

**nyah:** stop! you have violated the law

**owl daddy:** Stop! you have violated the law

**nyah:** stop! you have violated the law

**owl daddy:** Stop! you have violated the law

**i’m not a furry** : sorry u have to stay its the ‘sacred rules’

**toeru:** yaha-chan that’s genius!! sacred rules make us sound sophisticated!!

**i’m not a furry:** shut up oikawa-san

**i’m not a furry:** i tried to leave but the others begged me to come back because they wouldnt stop spamming

**toeru:** THIS IS SLANDER I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT,,, YAHA-CHAN WHY MUST YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY

**semisemi:** why was satori allowed to leave??

**i’m not a furry:** he got a boyfriend.

**my names yuuji but you can call me tonight:** lucky bitch lmao

**atsumoo:** stfu yer dating like yer whole team

**semisemi:** i know who most of you are but who’s @pining after a third year who hates my guts

**owl daddy:** .

**nyah:** ..

**furry:** …

**my names yuuji but you can call me tonight:** who’s gonna tell him lmao

The phone buzzes one more time before the screen fades to black. Eita screams internally, but hey, what's new?

Ushijima idly waters his plants by the window, ignoring the chaos around him. Warm sunlight streams through the curtains, painting the room in an ethereal glow.

Reon counts his money, talking in that stupidly kind voice of his, always so patient and understanding. “You should talk to Kenjirou, Eita. You are more similar than you think.” 

“Nah,” Eita says, picking up a metal dog figurine. “We have a good dynamic, I hate him and he hates me. I’ll gladly keep it that way.” 

“Don’t lie to me.”  _ Y I KE S,  _ Eita thinks _. Reon’s scary when he wants to be.  _ “You want to get along with people.”

“Yeah, sure,” he mumbles. “I want him to like me back. But he hates me, and nothing will change that.”

The room is silent for a moment, broken only by Yamagata humming gleefully, reaching over to grab a handful of chips.

Reon and Tendou make eye contact, nodding in unison.

Tendou puts his hands on Eita’s shoulders. “Now, see, Eita-kun, I had this fantastic idea. As our little kouhai Kenjirou trusts me the most-” at Eita’s disapproving glare, he mock-frowns. “He definitely trusts me more than you~!”

“Just get to the point already.” 

“And so,” Reon continues.

“We think that,” Tendou says.

“You should talk to him,” they say in unison.

“I’ve arranged for you to meet up on the bleachers!!” 

Ushijima nods in understanding, turning away from watering his plants. “I agree. It’s certainly a good idea.” _What the hell? Were they fucking telepathic or something?_ _I’m living with a bunch of aliens._

Time to shut them down. “No thanks. I’d rather not embarrass myself like that.”

“It can’t hurt to try, Semisemi,” Tendou sings.

Eita sighs, rolling the dice. “I don’t know, Satori. It won’t be any use, I’m about to graduate.”

“You still owe me that little favour~!! Remember that little incident with Shirabu, a kitchen and three maid outfits?”

Fuck.

—-

“Can you get that into your stupid, pretty head?” Eita says. He looks up, the clouds carving their way across the sky, blocking out the shining stars. The moon is full, and from his seat on the bleachers, he can see small craters on the surface. 

The bleachers reflect the moonlight, painting Shirabu’s face in a soft silver glow.  _ He looks like an angel, _ Eita thinks. (Then again, Eita is biased, in love and also sleep-deprived. Take your pick, why  _ does  _ Shirabu look like an angel?)

“Can we get this over with?” Shirabu sighs, his breath fogging up in the frigid air. The wind howls, making him shiver. 

“Don’t be a fucking brat, I’m trying to have a heart-to-heart with you.”  _ I’d actually like more than a heart-to-heart, I actually really want to kiss you, but at the rate our relationship is going, after graduation we’ll never see each other again. _

“Alright, I’ll be honest with you for once.” Shirabu clears his throat, looking Eita directly in the eyes with steely determination. “I’m worried about being captain next year.”

“You’re going to be a great captain,” Eita says immediately. “You’re smart, calm and dedicated, everything I’m not.”

“How? How could I be so good when I couldn’t even beat Karasuno with a top three ace?” Shirabu bows his head. Eita barely hears his next words. “Ushijima-san’s barely gotten scouted,” Shirabu whispers shamefully. “You should’ve been on the court. You remind me of those Karasuno assholes, always taking risks.”

“What do you mean?” Eita wants to embrace Shirabu, whisper sweet nothings, lullabies of encouragement, anything to make Shirabu’s nervousness stop. “I took risks because I wanted to use my own strength and abilities to avoid the blockers instead of relying on the team. The desire was too strong. You don’t need a setter like me. You’re the right choice. You were willing to give up being in the spotlight for the opportunity to set to Ushijima. Remember that you’re not alone, you have the second and first years by your side. Have some faith in Tsutomu and Taichi.” 

“No, you don’t understand. I’m supposed to carry the team next year- without...without you third year’s we’ll crumble.”

Eita can’t hide his anger. Didn’t Shirabu realise how amazing he is? “You’re not a fucking cookie.”

“And you’re not the next damn captain, so maybe give me some decent advice.”

“Okay. Look. I’m not a good person to take advice from. You know what I was like during my first two years. I regret that a lot, you know. I wish…”

Eita forces a laugh, letting it ring out into the cool night air. He avoids looking in Shirabu’s direction, fearing he’ll do something impulsive and stupid, like confessing his feelings. “You wouldn’t care. You’re too apathetic.”

Shirabu turns to face him. “Do you really hate me that much?”

“God, I wish I could hate you, then I wouldn’t have to deal with-” Eita gestures vaguely into the air. His chest tightens, and all of a sudden the only thing he wants to do is run from the person he loves the most.

Shirabu opens and closes his mouth like a fish. “Sorry, I don’t understand vague hand gesture. Maybe you should get some of your friends to help translate.” He points across the field, where Eita can see two retreating figures, one boasting fiery red hair. Eita clenches his fists. 

Shirabu grabs his arm, his touch burning Eita’s skin. “Semi-san. What were you going to say?”

“I was going to say,” Eita begins, panic filling his voice, “I was going to say I wish you liked me back.”

**Author's Note:**

> don't ask what this is. most of it was written during a wave of inspiration at like,,, two am lmao (the rest was done at school) and you can tell the exact point when i start to get sleep deprived because... well... you can just tell. it's the crackiness kicking in.
> 
> ALSO ADHKSJSHJDGK WHAT DO I CALL THIS,, UGH THE TITLE IS SO CHEESY I HATE IT I HATE IT KFAJFAKJHFAHJ BLS HELP DSJJHDSKFSDK
> 
> me, searching up lawyers, their working hours and how much yen they earn: wow, interesting  
> my mum, knowing i want to be a psychologist, walking into the room: ?????????? what the fuck are you doing ??????????
> 
> semi's experience in coming out is what i'm afraid to experience if i do come out to my parents (i will!! eventually!!) so there's that ig, except i only have one (1) relative i can stay with that i know would be okay with me there because he's the token gay cousin 
> 
> me searching up year twelve math: wow, i have to learn this shit? 
> 
> will there be another chapter? maybe, if i can find inspiration 
> 
> uhh i have,,, in fact,,, watched beastars,,, it was really good ngl i can't wait for season two 
> 
> oh oh also!! when i referred to semi being similar to karasuno, it's shown that he took quite big risks to be in the spotlight and succeed as a setter,,, that was one of the reasons he was replaced,,,, he always wanted to take the spotlight,,, his own desire to show off was too strong,,, ugh i love semi i-
> 
> me trying to come up with non-platonic situations that could still be taken as platonic but if you find out it's not platonic you realise you've been a massive idiot: haha ✨fuck✨


End file.
